(Here is the same clip in HD, but that 2010 YouTube vibe is part of the fun)

This clip is in the running for most-mocked scene of all time, but I think it’s good, actually.

First, let’s get some things out of the way:

1. The writers of NCIS know how keyboards work. (They probably used keyboards to write this scene, even.)
2. The director of this episode knows how keyboards work.
3. I’m going to go out on a limb and say >90% of this show’s audience knows how keyboards work.

This scene was not written this way because the writers think their audience is dumb and doesn’t know how a keyboard works. It was written this way because of the Rule of Cool.

The Rule of Cool states: an audience’s willingness to suspend disbelief is proportional to how cool a scene is.

(Is this scene actually cool? Well, no, not really. But the relevant question is, does the target audience think it’s cool?)

(Full disclosure: I only said it’s uncool because I don’t want to sound uncool, but honestly I do think it’s kind of cool. Come on, it’s at least a little bit cool, right?)

source: xkcd

In Firefly when River Tam—a tiny woman who doesn’t even exercise—beats up a bunch of guys in a bar, does that make sense? Is that how physics works? No. But it’s cool, so people are okay with it.

Why do the space fighters in Star Wars pretend to be airplanes and use tactics that are nonsensical in space? Because it looks cool, that’s why. And why do lightsaber duelists, and most sword fighters in most movies for that matter, try to hit their opponents’ swords instead of going for a killing blow? Because it looks cooler than a real duel.

I think you can reasonably object to the NCIS scene by saying that two people typing on one keyboard to stop a hacker is not cool. Which is understandable. But if you’re going to object to this scene by saying that’s not how keyboards work, then you’re also not allowed to like Firefly or Star Wars or any movie involving swords or time travel or space ships or any sci-fi or fantasy or almost any movie involving guns or explosions or physics or even dialogue for that matter (ever notice how film characters never stutter or slur their words unless doing so is specifically relevant to the plot? so unrealistic!).

That all being said, I have a big problem with CSI’s “I’ll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic, see if I can track an IP address.” My problem isn’t that it doesn’t make sense. My problem is that it doesn’t sound cool, and it would’ve been so easy to write a cooler line. The word “Basic” doesn’t make you sound like a top hacker. And “GUI” is one of the least-cool-sounding words possible.

I propose a small modification:

I’ll create a kernel interface using C++, see if I can track an IP address.

The word “kernel” sounds cool. C++ sounds a lot cooler than Visual Basic. (If they want to go for the extra nonsense factor, they could say “C+” instead, which is something I’ve heard real people say in real life.¹) And my version of the line even kinda makes sense—realistically I don’t think you’d interface with your kernel to track an IP address, but those words mean something and you could do it if you really wanted to.

Posted on Nov 14, 2025

Notes